What is grief? This is a daunting question, even for a pastor, and spiritual director — because a person’s grief experience is as unique as their fingerprint. Relationships, circumstances, and contexts are myriad in their complexity, and they intertwine in an unlimited range of scenarios and emotions. But the one thread that typically binds them is love — and as some say, love unexpressed. Grief’s magnitude is so often proportional to the love we feel and will always carry.
 
Within this boundless container of love, the permutations can be infinite — grief that’s complicated, anticipatory or even disenfranchised. 

Parched.
Languishing.
Afraid this was who I would be…forevermore…after the death of my Mom. I know that spell check thinks it should be a lower case “m”; but, hey, it’s my Mom with a capital M.

Then late one night at the office (because I hadn’t been able to complete any task during the day), I pulled from my mailroom cubby an unprofessional looking beige flyer. I remember thinking, “If I was a flyer, I’d look just like this.” So, because of the personal connection established, I began to read. The flyer was advertising an opportunity to participate in a spiritual formation group. Words like authentic,
compassion, and community were on the page. These words, plus the bold typed contemplative soul
care moved me to tears. 

Thank you for joining our book club, here are some discussion tips & questions for your book club or for reading on your own to ponder.
Tips for Your Book Club Discussion
Approach the time together as a way to get to know one another on a deeper and more intimate level by being vulnerable and sharing your experiences, reflections, and hopes.

• Practice grace—let members participate even if they have now read the book.
• Practice restraint—let members have their opinions (it’s not about judging others and changing them; it’s about accepting others, sharing life and learning).
• Refrain from asking right off the bat, “Who liked this book?” It tends to divide the group rather than uniting members on a deeper level.
• Get started! I’ll quit being bossy!
• Oh, wait! Feel free to invite Fran to participate with you –hellofran@frantiltonshelton.com

Questions & Ponderings
If we grieve the way we live, describe how you process grief and life. Are you a:

• talk-it-out person